The Details

One of my favorite things about writing is how God will slowly develop one of these posts over time. It is like receiving one piece of a puzzle and each piece I am to look at and dwell upon for a while until I get the next piece that makes things a little more clear.

Let us not miss the lesson inherent in this process. Revelation from God is rarely, though sometimes, a lightning strike. More often what I experience is this slow, evolving process, of which I can never fully take hold of myself. It both takes and grows patience within me. But I am never the less delighted when the picture finally develops like an old Polaroid photograph into full view.

This particular post begins a few weeks ago, while we were traveling for my son’s baseball tournament. They don’t call it travel ball for nothing. This trip landed us two hours away in a small town in Alabama, which coincidentally (or not) happened to be where my parents were living when my Dad died.

Though I thought I may pass through it from time to time visiting extended family on the other side of the state, I did not ever really think I would land there ever again for any reason. The dread that swelled within me was palpable. My eyes brimmed with tears as memories of the town brushed up against a vast sea of pain and grief that normally only lulls quietly beneath the surface of my life.

However, after living in the wake of this loss for eighteen years, it certainly isn’t the first emotional wave I’ve had to surf. So, I just did what I’ve learned to do to cope with these types of triggers, pray.

God answered in a small, yet mighty way. Isn’t he good at that? Being so mighty and yet working so small?

We had gone out to dinner and our waiter was a delightful, older man who appeared to have led a seasoned, perhaps challenging, life but retained (or perhaps refined?) a unique humility and playfulness. He was endearing and he engaged both of my young sons right away, teasing them in a way that genuinely elevated them and made them feel as important as any other person in the restaurant. His funny, quirky sense of humor I recognized right away. It was a brand so similar to my Dad’s.

Then the waiter told us his name and my heart almost stopped. “Ronnie.” You should know at this point in the story, my Dad’s name was Ron. His mother, my grandmother, often affectionately called him Ronnie.

The detail was too synchronistic. Having returned to the area where he last lived, where I would be found persevering, yet raw from the memory of his loss, in this very restaurant, on this very night, we would be assigned this very waiter with the same unique and humble demeanor AND the same name as my Dad?!

I watched him over several interactions with my sons and my heart both smiled widely at their delight and ached deeply at what echoed to me the glaring absence of their grandfather in their lives.

My father never knew my boys, a fact that was truly tragic because as tomboy as I was as a child, I know how deeply it would have fulfilled him to have two young grandsons to teach and tumble around with, had he been well enough to live long enough to know them.

Then our waiter, Ronnie, just being his jovial self, played a game of tic-tac-toe with my youngest son as we waited on our food and my eyes flooded with tears. Could it be that my Dad’s sweet spirit was here, with us, through Ronnie, seeing my boys, making them laugh, letting them win against him in a game of tic-tac-toe?

For my boys, of course, it was the simple kindness of a stranger. But for me, it felt like a healing reassurance that God saw the grief I was still carrying and was sending his unfailing love in a way I would intimately recognize.

The next day at the ball field I told the story to a faithful friend. Always conscious of grounding my spiritual experiences, I prefaced the story with the disclaimer, “This may sound a little mystical to you…”

My friend listened intently and then said, “I don’t think that is mystical at all. I think God cares about and wants to be involved in every detail of our lives.”

I have been thinking about that since, and noticing the beauty, the wonder, and the synchronistic moments where I feel closest to God, always seem to be happening “in the details.”

And wouldn’t that be the case of our humble Lord? The one who comes as a child, not a powerful king clothed in gold and armed for war? The one who introduces himself to Moses as the God of compassion and mercy? The one who passes Elijah not as a storm or an earthquake or a fire but as a whisper? The one who calls Samuel in the quiet of the night? The one who answers Daniel’s prayers while he is at rest, in his dreams?

And I have just begun to think of all the examples of intricate detail in the natural creation. The rotation of seasons, the balance of ecosystems, the interdependency of forces in the universe, the tides, the weather, the winds, the magnetic poles, all of these systems that are not random, they are carefully laid plans.

I think about the multitude of plants and flowers we have here on Earth and the unique and characteristic designs of the petals and blooms of each one. I think about the vast array of animal species that exist and how they differ from fur to feather to skin to scales. These are not accidental, they are designed.

I think about all the different kinds of people in the world, of various cultures, backgrounds, demographics, and experiences. I think of how uniquely they each process their own worldview. I think of how, despite the millions of combinations of our human makeup, Jesus speaks directly to the heart of each, individual person in ways that resonate with them intimately. These are not coincidental, they are purposeful.

And I think about this baby tortoise my son held at a summer petting zoo this morning. When all of these puzzle pieces the last few weeks clicked into place in my heart as I observed the tiny creature who seems almost alien to me with his soft skinned body bonded into his beautifully geometric, hardened shell. His very features cry out, just like Jesus proclaimed the rocks surely would of his Lordship,

“Yes, God cares for the details.”

To truly observe and appreciate the incredible depth of detail in our world, then to turnaround and deem our relationships, interactions, and special moments here some haphazard “coincidence” would be inconsistent with all that we know about God. We see the complexities of what he has created, we read the many signs and wonders in scripture, we feel him move and act in the unseen but heartfelt dimensions of our being.

And none, not one, of these bazillion minute details escapes him. Like the grains of sand on the beach, like the strands of hair on our heads, he holds and counts every single one.

“The Lord directs the steps of the godly. He delights in every detail of their lives.” Psalm 37:23

Just ask him to show you, in the details.